


and she drank all of the sea

by Cygna_hime, Starcrossedsky



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Somewhat Generic everyone is alive post game AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-29
Updated: 2012-01-29
Packaged: 2017-10-30 07:10:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/329123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cygna_hime/pseuds/Cygna_hime, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starcrossedsky/pseuds/Starcrossedsky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a drunk and a fish troll sit by themselves in a corner and make mouth flappy noises at each other, and then Roxy passes out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	and she drank all of the sea

**Author's Note:**

> And then we had a bunch of feelings about how Eridan has screwed up his chances with everyone /except/ the alpha kids
> 
> And then we wrote this
> 
> And I made it pretty
> 
> And we might continue it if we catch another case of the feels later.
> 
> ((Roxy by starcrossedsky, Eridan by Cygna-hime))

“Why are you sittin’ out here all alone?” comes a voice from above you. You look up - the new blond girl is there, the drunk one. Her words slur together even more than yours do - “sittin” comes out more like “shittin” than anything else.

"Wwhat do you wwant?” you demand back.

Roxy winds her way around the log you’ve taken as a refuge, taking a seat next to you.

"I din’t think it was cool for you to be ova here all by yourselfs,” she says. “I mean, they let the rest of the backstabbers back into the fruity rump party~” At this point, she leans half into your shoulder, drawing out the sound of the last word until she runs out of breath. 

“Yeah, wwell, someone like them,” you huff, and try to push her off. 

She sways back and forth and winds up flopping across your lap.You're not sure what to do about this. This is the first person who's been sprawled across your lap in a while.

Pretty much ever, really

"I like you," she says finally. "You look like an emo Happy Potter." A drunken giggle escapes her, as though she’s just said the most hilarious thing there is to say.

You don’t get it.

“Thanks I guess. Wwhatevver that means." You're pretty sure she's drunk, if that's a thing humans get. She probably thinks she's talking to someone else entirely.

But you'll take it.

"It means you look adorbabble."

“Are you makin’ less sense than the rest a the humans or is this some kinda dialect?"

"Sense is for suckas." She waves one hand lazily at the rest of the group. Jane (you think that's the other new girl's name) is staring at the two of you. Drunky sticks a thumbs up at her over your shoulder.

You're pretty sure that's one of the gestures that carries over, so she's pretty happy with whoever's lap she thinks she's lying on. You should try to find out who that is and hand her over...

You can't bring yourself to do it.

 

"It’s kinda funny," she slurs out again. "Like, i always thought that if I met an alien, it’d be either the batterbitch or UUzy, not the buncha fuckin’ you guys. Though the other fishface is like, batterbaby three-K junior or some shit like that."

"Don’t talk about her like that," you say automatically. You can't let an alien say...weird, but you think bad things about Fef. Even if she won't notice you coming to her defense.

"Why not? I mean, she seems - excuse me, seams - nice 'nuff but she doesn’t look lile she’s likin’ you any."

“Thats not the glubbin’ point," you say. You're pretty sure it is. "You’re an alien, so wwhat do you knoww? Fef likes me fine." This is a blatant lie you only venture because it's not like she knows any better, or indeed will remember what you said tomorrow.

"Didn’ you just say that noboby likes you?"

"I didn’t say that." Shit, you totally did, didn't you? You've got to work on keeping that internal monologue internal.

"You so to-tal-ly did," she replies, laughing. She flicks you in the nose. "’Sis lies and bullshit though."

You've got to salvage this conversation somehow. It's the only one you're likely to have tonight; not even you are dumb enough to try talking to anyone you know. You don't want to lose any limbs. "I wwas just, you knoww," you say, "sayin stuff." You sit up straighter. "i didnt mean it or nothin"

"How da fuck is it that the sobes one is spillin’ all his beans to the drunky?" she asks, like you didn't even say anything. "You’re fuckin’ silly, fishsticks."

"Wwell, wwhy dont you spill your metaphorical legumes instead then." Oh cod that sounds like you're coming on to her you actually didn't mean it that way.

"Welp," she begins, "not a lotta beans to send cascadin’ to the floor. My best bros are still makin’ stupid faces at each other cause of the thin’s Dirk said before, and Janey’s off bakin’ with her new clown friend..." Still leaning across your lap, because that didn't stop being a thing or anything, she waves one hand in the air in front of your nose. "And it’s not like I really know the rest of the team."

"You could, you knoww, fix that," you point out. "They’re ovver there in case you got lost or something."

 

"Naw, you're more interestin’," she asserts. "They’ll be still there when 'm sober. You look like you’re figurin’ out if you can run off."

"Can I?" You didn't mean to say that.

You don't think you can, anyway. Not without moving her, and you're acutely aware that there's always someone watching you. You can't risk hurting her in front of everyone.

"Not happenin’ tonight, fishbro." And she stretches, long skinny arms ending in dull human nails, pink and white and light, and then she flops back into your lap, arms cinching around your hips. "Better get more comfier."

You think you might have just died again. What the glubbing hell does she think she's doing, groping you like this? You don't even know her!

You kind of flop over backward. You wouldn't call it comfortable, necessarily, but you're not losing feeling in your legs anymore. "Okay ,wwhat do you wwanta do anywway?"

"’Zis time for the unfathomable drunken snooze," she mumbles into you with a grin. "Haha, fathoms, look, I made a shitty fish joke for ya."

"I don’t do puns." you say defensively. "They’re stupid dumb. You sure you wwouldnt rather go find a recuperacoon or wwhatevver it is you humans use?"

“Mmmm... Nope.” And she actually cuddles you.

This is the part where a troll's moirail would intervene to get them away from whoever they were about to sleep on before sleep rage made a mess of the floor. You look around for help. Her human moirail friend thing is right there, for fuck's sake!

Right there and busily being no help at all.

Is he even looking over here? What kind of shitty person leaves a friend alone with you? Did no one warn him?

You flail under the weight of a thousand cultural contradictions, and also Roxy Lalonde's upper torso. 

You're honestly not sure where to go with this. No troll would ever fall asleep on someone, certainly not someone other than their moirail.

Maybe it's different for humans, though? They don't seem to sleep in sopor or anything of the sort - maybe they just don't get night terrors the way trolls do. 

Maybe you should gather your guts and ask someone.

You almost immediately see the problem here: you can't go ask someone, 'go' being the operative word. The human Roxy girl is surprisingly heavy. Also, you suspect that asking questions about how humans sleep will lead to you having to gather your guts in a very literal sense.

So you sit where you are. The conversation behind you quiets, dies, the rest of the group finding their own ways to go off and get some rest. The Strider with the pointy glasses walks by, checking on her briefly, but he doesn't even come within arm's reach, much less take her from your lap.

You wonder if humans do get sleep rage after all. Maybe she'll rip you to pieces in her sleep. Maybe that's why no one's come to take her away.

You're tired, but you're sure not going to sleep. She may or may not get sleep rage, but you do, and you don't know what'll happen to you if you kill her in your sleep, but you won't like it. If you stay awake, you can abscond if she shows signs of daymares.

So you sit awake, your back propped against your shitty excuse for a log, and Roxy snores drunkenly in your lap for the next several hours.


End file.
